Top Shark Attack Movies?

Howdy folks! I’m sure you all had fun and you’re well rested after the four day break. Now it’s back to work. So, no dulling people. Lol! Well, for this Just Gist Tuesday, we’re going to be looking at Jollyhood’s Top Ten Shark Attack Films. Pleaseeee the operative word here is “Jollyhood’s”, before you start hating again like you did with my Top Ten Superhero list (see post Jollyhood’s Superheroes).

I love the Shark Movies. There’s something highly terrifying about being stuck in the wide open sea with its greatest predator closing in on you. Something about that suspenseful moment before someone’s limbs gets severed from their body. And the more limbs severed, the merrier. Lol! I’m not weird, just wonder why you should watch some boring drama flick when you can get your adrenaline popping with a shark attack movie. Besides, Shark films go best with popcorn and coke. Don’t you think? *huge grin*

Sadly, shark films have been turned into some low budget, ludicrous, insipid butt in jokes tales. Maybe the producers figure that sharks devouring some hapless individual is good enough for the film lovers without bothering to give us a reason why. Well, I’ve tried to make my list as serious as possible with less of the ludicrous Shark attack films.

  1. Sharknado

Sorry but the first on the list is as ludicrous as they get; a tornado that forces sharks from the sea, into the sky, so that they sever limps as they fall back to the ground. Not only is the acting terrible but we have to give the film high points for stupidity. I mean who breaks out of a shark using a chainsaw?

How’s that even possible! Anyway, shark attack fans seem to love it prompting several more sequels and forcing me to put it on my list. I hear that a fifth is in production, Why I can’t fathom for the love of me.

  1. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

Ludicrous and gruesome at the same time, Shark Attack 3 reinforces the opinion that producers should stick to a films without special effects when at loss for money.  What else are we to infer from this low budget production that has enough bad effects to turn a supposed horror movie into a comedy.

In the film you get a whole yacht-full of people being swallowed alive. Guess it’s allowed with a mythical shark the size of a bus. However it’s popularity amongst shark attack film lovers gets it a 9th spot on my list.

  1. 12 Days Of Terror

This film based on the famous Jersey Shore attacks of 1916, is often cited as inspiration for Peter Benchley’s Jaws, which he denies. But both stories are awfully similar with multiple deaths that authorities are reluctant to acknowledge. A shark terrorizes the citizens from July 1-12, before it’s finally captured leaving four dead and one badly injures. Reports have it that the remains of the shark had the bones of 15 different individual in it. The body of a missing young boy was never recovered. Horrible and sad. Do shark tales seem more morbid when based on real events?..

    7. Bait

A group of shoppers are trapped in the supermarket when a freak tsunami hit, submerging the store, and bringing sharks with it.  The shoppers’ are forced to balance precariously on grocery shelves to avoid the sharks circling beneath. Others find themselves trapped in underground parking lot, sitting on top of cars that somehow manage not to sink. Hmm… (Like I said shark movies can be ludicrous).

The film has a good enough storyline even if it the producers don’t seem to know how to build on it and it gets boring down the line. But Bait does manage some decent gory deaths, like when a shopper tries to cross from one shelve to another with triumphant cries of “I can make it, I can make it!”, and gets his lower limb chopped off by a leaping shark. Nice, right? Lol!

  1. Open Water

This film is based on a true story of couple who were the victims of a botched head-count on their tour boat in 1998. In the film two tourists are left behind on a Great Barrier Reef diving trip.

Reports has it that no CGI was used in the film, that real live sharks were used as actors in the film. The producers spent a bigger part of their budget on an expert shark wrangler and keep a constant supply of fish snacks for the shark actors to keep them from munching on their fellow actors; Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis.

The nightmarish situation this couple find themselves in; stranded in the midst of the sea with sharks circling and no help in sight, is just too morbid for any shark jokes. That it’s based on real events only makes

this film more horrifying.

  1. Shark Night 3D

A crowd of scantily-clad college kids out to have a good time on a lake, are trapped when they realize that the place is teeming with sharks. Of course there’s no telephone reception to call for help. The film does boost some decent gruesome scenes. My best is the airborne sharks that takes out the jet-ski kid. Eww!

  1. Jaws 2

It’s the belief of some that the sequel to the highly acclaimed shark film “Jaws 2″ is the best film of all the Jaws franchise. I don’t agree. I think the original tops it all, but Jaws 2 still does quite well in comparison. Remember the infamous tagline: “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.” Whatever are they saying? It’s never safe to go in the water! (my opinion).

Jaws 2 may seem like a teenage bumper movie with the teenagers trapped at sea and the shark doesn’t get to devour as many people as I would have wanted. But there was some terrifying moments like when Jaws seems to swallow Marge alive. (Can sharks really do that?)

  1. Deep Blue Sea

The 1999 shark film inspired by writer Duncan Kennedy’s childhood nightmares of sharks who could read his mind was my favourite for a long time. It had a good enough premise; a group of scientists looking for a cure to Alzheimer’s disease, in a facility set in the middle of the sea. But their experiments make the sharks super smart and the man-eaters decide to plot their way out of captivity… hmm?

Is it just me or do the sharks appear bigger and then smaller in the same scene, and manage to look real and fake at the same. And why does the biggest shark that couldn’t devour LL Cool J, end up gobbling up Saffron Burrows (maybe it had something to do with their size as well). Anyway, there’s enough action and plenty of explosions for us to forgive any lapses.

My favourite scene; Samuel L. Jackson gets torn to pieces after giving a great stirring American speech. Guess the sharks didn’t like his speech one bit.

  1. Jaws

My second spot goes to the shark film that birthed other shark films, the mother of all shark attack movies; it’s Jaws! Steven Spielberg’s 1975 classic, legendary tale that still manages to make one to this day, instantly afraid of the water.

Jaws comes with a great premise that’s both complicated and emotional, while scaring us silly at the same time. Roy Scheider gives a convincing performance as a small town sheriff, trying to protect his town from a shark menace, while fighting the town council who will do anything to deny the menace because of their financial crisis.

Jaws may not look as real today’s sharks with the incredible special effects available in filming today. But in comparison to the technology they had to work with in the 1970’s, that Spielberg’s mechanic shark still looked real enough to scare us, I believe is a testament on its own. My most gruesome scene; shark hunter, Quint gets munched on alive. Serves him right for thinking he can capture a 25 foot shark just like that. Lol!

  1. The Shallows

Relegating Jaws, the legend to the number 2 spot is the 2016 film “The Shallows”. The new entry stars Blake Lively as the terrified, wounded student stranded on a rock, 200 yards from shore with a giant white shark circling.

This film made $119 million against a budget of $17 million and has been describes by one critic has making “Jaws look like a tea party” in comparison. Lol! Before Jaws fans get all riled up, if you’ve seen “The Shallows“, you kind of have to agree. The film is amazing.

I initially kind of wondered how director Collet Serra intended to stop us from dozzing off in boredom in this 90 minutes so survivor tale, (with just Lively for a large part of the film). But he managed to pull it off, making “The Shallows” quite intense and terrifying enough to keep us glued to the screen all through. And the shark’s so relentless in it’s pursuit of Lively that it almost seems like he has it out for her (like a mean shark). But our courageous heroine gives as good as she gets and manages to look super hot in her bikini while doing so. *cheek in tongue*

That’s it for Jollyhood’s Top Ten Shark Films. As usual, feel free to disagree by sending moi your selection. Besides, you might want to get your heart racing with one or two movies on my list *cheeky grin* Till Friday people; loads of XoXo!

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    September 15, 2017 at 2:09 am

    Out of all the shark movies, this circumstance has the highest probability, unless aliens start dropping crystals in the Bermuda Triangle or sharks explode randomly.

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